• Always look people in the eye, even if they are blind. Just say, “I’m looking you in the eye.”
• If you get pulled over for speeding, tell the police officer your spouse has diarrhea.
• Claire: You have dumb ideas.
  Phil: Name one…that went on for awhile.
• Why do I have to watch a French movie, I didn’t do anything wrong.
• I’ve always said that if my son thinks of me as one of his idiot friends, I’ve succeeded as a dad.
• Cheerleading in my college was cool. The football players were so jealous they wouldn’t even let me and my buddies, Trevor, Scotty and Ling go to their parties
• Cheerleading in my college was cool. The football players were so jealous they wouldn’t even let me and my buddies, Trevor, Scotty and Ling go to their parties

I hope I marry someone like Phil Dunphy

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